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Dating for Dummies.

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D
ating makes everybody feel like a dummy, whether you’re 15 or 115,
going out on your first date or rejoining the dating scene after your
grandkids have started dating. “It’s still the same old story” — as sung by
Dooley Wilson in Casablanca — “a search for love and glory,” and there really
are some fundamental things that do apply. I lay them all out for you, not so
that you can be a stud muffin or the hottest kid on the block, but so that you
can understand a bit more about yourself, your date to be, and the whole
process. Then maybe the old palms will sweat less, and believe it or not, you
may actually have some fun.
After all, dating should be fun. It’s not like your whole life or livelihood depends
on one date or several dates. The purpose of dating is simple: getting to know
someone and letting them get to know you so that you can decide whether
you’re interested in spending any more time together. Nothing more, nothing
less. Put aside the notion that you’re looking for a mate or a one-night stand
or someone to please your mom. You’re just dating so that you can get to
know somebody a bit and let them get to know you.
So what are the ironclad follow-these-steps-and-you’ll-never-fail, step-on-a-
crack-and-you’ll-break-your-mother’s-back rules of dating? They don’t exist.
There are some guidelines, suggestions, and observations, but this whole
experience is a bit free form since you’re unique and so is everyone you’ll
ever date. So this book is about helping you understand who you are, what
you want — some commonly held assumptions, traits, and perils that will
allow you to be exactly the person you are. That way, if you’re having fun and
your date is having fun, you’re going to want to do it again.
So why such sweaty palms if this is supposed to be fun? Men and women have
been getting together for thousands of years after all. No, it’s not because
you’re the nerd of the universe, and everybody else is way cool. It’s because
the way people date — their expectations and assumptions and goals — have
changed with the times.
Adam and Eve were the original blind date (and we know who fixed them up).
It’s been a lot rockier ever since (ever wonder who Cain and Abel dated?).
In the caves, dating was mostly who had the biggest club (no, not that club)
and could carry off the choice woman. I don’t think flowers and candy played
a very big part. A few eons passed, and we moved from caves and plains to
hamlets to villages to towns to cities, and our courting rituals evolved, but
still dating really wasn’t allowed. Marriages were arranged by families for
political and economic reasons. Not only did women have no say, but neither
did the men.

Description

Introduction ………………………………………………………..1
Part I: The Focus: Who Am I? ………………………………..11
Chapter 1: Thoroughly Modern Dating………………………………………………………………..13
Chapter 2: Being Confident …………………………………………………………………………………21
Chapter 3: Polishing Your Social Self …………………………………………………………………..31
Chapter 4: Finding Out What Makes You Tick ……………………………………………………..53
Chapter 5: Making Sure You’re Ready………………………………………………………………….63
Part II: Who Do I Want?……………………………………….69
Chapter 6: Finding a Date ……………………………………………………………………………………71
Chapter 7: Planning a Cool Approach………………………………………………………………….81
Part III: Setting Up the Date …………………………………87
Chapter 8: Asking for a Date ……………………………………………………………………………….89
Chapter 9: Getting a Phone Number ……………………………………………………………………97
Chapter 10: Plotting the Place for Your First Date ……………………………………………..107
Part IV: Date Day Preparations…………………………….119
Chapter 11: Getting Your Outside Ready……………………………………………………………121
Chapter 12: Getting Your Inside Ready………………………………………………………………141
Chapter 13: Polishing the Act ……………………………………………………………………………155
Part V: The Date ……………………………………………….167
Chapter 14: Having a Way Cool Time …………………………………………………………………169
Chapter 15: Your Date Hates You ………………………………………………………………………189
Chapter 16: You Hate Your Date ………………………………………………………………………..197
Chapter 17: You Hate Each Other………………………………………………………………………203
Part VI: The Day After and Beyond ……………………….209
Chapter 18: The Next Day………………………………………………………………………………….211
Chapter 19: The Second Date…………………………………………………………………………….223
Chapter 20: Learning about Each Other …………………………………………………………….233
Chapter 21: Speed Bumps on Life’s Highway……………………………………………………..247

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